7 Weeks {September 5, 2012}

{September 5, 2012}

Its funny writing these and knowing I am not going to post them for weeks. I wonder if when I post them I will be glad I decided to write all this stuff down? I am  7 weeks and like 3 days. I have seen people telling a whole bunch of people that they are pregnant and due in April - which is when I think I'm due. I just can't imagine spilling the beans already. It makes me too nervous, plus I kind of like having this secret for myself for now. (well and my mom and Kate, I still need some support). I have had the WORST cold the past few days, it has been awful trying to get through it without any medicine. My dad and Sam keep getting so mad at me when they ask if I have taken something I say no. Sometimes I just want to say: " I'm pregnant and would rather suffer like this than worry that something I am taking will hurt the baby!", but I don't. Sam is getting suspicious. He think's he knows that I am already pregnant. Part of me really wants to tell him, but then the brat inside of me comes out and I say things like "Sam I'm not pregnant, is that a fat joke?!" Hahaha I know he still thinks I am, but I keep thinking if I try to keep telling him no, then there will be enough doubt that he won't tell anyone. I mean that's the whole point anyways, its not that Sam can't know, its that when Sam knows that means the whole world knows. I just don't think we're there yet.

I honestly try to not think about being pregnant. I feel like if I do I will just make myself crazy- and thats also when I will over eat and gain a bunch of weight- and who really wants that. Only when I write these posts do I really think about it. Time has actually been going by pretty fast. I have my first doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks- on the 24th. When I scheduled that it seemed like it was so far away...now I feel like its coming so fast.

I am still trying to think of fun ways to tell Sam and the family. I am getting shirts made for my fashion blog and Kate suggested I get one made that says something about being pregnant and wearing it on our cruise, then seeing how long it takes Sam to notice it. I like that idea, I just have to decide what to print on the shirt. Then, I still need to figure out how to tell our friends and family. I want it to be something so fun, no text messaging. I was thinking a picture of some kind, and send it in the mail before we leave on our cruise. Then no one can spoil it for Sam, and Sam won't spoil it for anyone else. Does that seem too distant though? Like maybe we should do something more personal? Maybe the card and then dinner when we get home?

{7 Weeks- September 6, 2012}

Dear Baby:

You kind of seem surreal to me right now. I haven't felt really sick or weird, only a little and for short periods of time. Sometimes I wonder if you're really in there. I still have no idea if you are a girl or a boy. I almost don't care, I think you will be perfect either way. Me and your dad were joking about babies last night and he told me he wants you to be a girl. I was pretty shocked. He said he wants me to have a shopping partner.. hahaha I wouldn't mind that at all, but to be honest I will take you shopping even if you're a boy. I still want to name you Hudson. I'm taking your dad to New York City in a few weeks. I will show him the Hudson River and see if he changes his mind about the name- since by then he will know about you.

Keeping you a secret has been harder than I thought it would be. I talked to your aunt Brandi the other day and wanted to tell her to plan on coming down the end of April to meet you. She will be so excited when she finds out. Your aunt Ali, I think, will be the most excited. She has begged me and your dad to have you for a while. I think I can even use you a leverage to convince her to move back to St. George. You will just love all of your aunts and uncles. You are one lucky baby.

This last weekend we went to Bonnie's house for Labor Day and Grandma Mack's birthday- you probably hang out with Grandma Mack all the time right now. Did you wish her Happy Birthday?! While we were there all of the kids were playing, and there are a lot of kids, I kept thinking you will have so much fun playing with them too. I know you will just love all of your cousins.

I'm still trying to eat healthy so your little body and organs form how they are suppose to. Its actually easier than I thought it would be. Its drinking more water that hard for me. I know its so good for you though, so I'll keep trying.

Keep growing and getting strong and we'll see you in 33 weeks. It's a date.

Love,
Your Mom.

I feel like I covered all of the questions in my last post- and nothing really has changed since then. Here I am at 7 weeks... that little bump you see is all me, not the baby... hahaha its where I keep all the candy I eat. :)