12 Weeks {October 8, 2012}

{October 8, 2012}

Well, me and the baby made it through the marathon on Saturday, it was the WORST race or run I have EVER had in my whole life- including in highschool when I couldn't run around the track. I literally struggled the whole time, and ended up having to walk or VERY slowly jog pretty much the whole time. I felt EXHAUSTED! I had nothing to give. I think that running was probably one of the worst choices I have made. I regretted my decision the whole time. It was extremely difficult to struggle and to do that poorly for so long. I was nervous and worried the whole time, and never really felt good. My only joy from the whole thing was getting my medal. All I wanted the entire time was to have that medal around my neck.

When I got to 19 and saw my dad it was really hard for me not to stop. He pretty much told me I needed to stop and he would drive me home. I just couldn't though. I kept saying "No one cares if I just ran 19 miles, no one including me cares unless I finish. I will have wasted all this time and 19 miles of hell for nothing!" He was so worried about me, and to be honest, I was worried about me. Ash met me around mile 23. I needed her. I needed my mom. I missed them the whole run. The only reason I was able to finish was because they met me and finished the race with me. I am glad that I am done with the race, and I am glad I was able to finish it. I feel so blessed and grateful for all the support I had throughout the race. It really meant the world to me.

I have really started to feel better as far as pregnancy wise. My energy is slowly coming back. I don't have to pee quite as much, and I don't have to constantly be eating to not feel sick. I still can never decide what I want to eat. I have to just pick something, then once I am eating it I like it, but nothing really sounds that great. I do have random moments of "cravings" but for the most part I am indecisive. Still no desire for soda.


{12 Weeks, October 8, 2012}

Dear Baby:

I am sorry I decided to take you on the marathon. We really didn't have very much fun huh. I promise that not all marathons are like that. Thanks for being a good sport through the whole thing though. I promise not to do to that to you again, for now on we will be pretty chill- just a little gym and walking, and short runs. More people know about you now, and everyone is SO excited that you're coming. You have so many people that can't wait for you to come. I told your cousins about you on Saturday. Stockden thinks you're a boy. Staelie asked that you wait until after April 14th to come- since that's her birthday- she wants to have her birthday first. McKall and Jentrie are both so excited to meet you. They both were pretty shocked when I told them. You will just love your cousins, they are a lot of fun.

Your dad is being so funny about what to name you. I keeps coming up with all these crazy names like Frank and Brenda. Don't worry baby, I won't let you have a crazy name. I think your dad may be coming around to the idea of Hudson. Lets cross our fingers ( I mean you do have fingers now, so you can). I haven't been able to come up with any other names that I like, so to me, you are still Hudson.

I have been reading about what you're up to right now. I read that you are pretty much developed now, and will work on just growing bigger and stronger. My app says that you are about the size of a large peach. That's a lot of growing you've been doing. Good job.

I hope that everyone in heaven is still taking good care of you. Make sure you tell them we love them!

Can't wait to meet you in April.

Love, Mom

I feel like I am starting to show a little bit. It really depends on what I'm wearing, but I feel like my stomach seems rounder than normal. I really don't mind either- I feel so lucky to be able to have this baby, that I really don't mind that things are changing. I think its actually very exciting. Its amazing how my body just knows what to do. Its incredible that there is a person in there.

We have started to tell more people and we have been overwhelmed by the positive feed back and all of the support. We really feel so lucky to have such amazing family and friends. I am thrilled for this little baby to meet everyone, and for us to meet him or her.

I don't have any stretch marks- luckily. That is one thing I would like to avoid.

I am still wearing my wedding ring- fits just the same as it always has.

I sleep like a champion, and I try to sleep as much as possible.

No maternity clothes yet- I think I should be good in that department for a while.

I am excited for my next appointment and to have Sam hear the heart beat.