Hayes {April 30, 2013}

I can't believe another week has gone by. We are loving this sweet boy so much. It's fun to learn all the little things about who he is.

Some of my favorite things I am learning about this sweetie pie are:

- He smacks his lips together after he's done eating- every time.
- He loves to snuggle with his mama
-He snorts
- He likes to go for walks

Our sweet Gator is adjusting to life with Hayes. He has been so sweet and so concerned about him. He gets so worried when Hayes is crying. He spends a lot of time laying by my feet while I feed Hayes. I love how sweet and protective he is. One of my favorite things is that Gator waits for the stroller. In or out, he lets me push the stroller through the door and then follows. We are so lucky to have the sweetest little boy and best dog!

Hayes is a week old! {April 20, 2013}

Today our sweet boy is a week old. In some ways it feels like he's been here forever and in other ways it feels like he just got here. There are so many things we are learning about him.
- He has really big hands and feet and his fingers are SO long! (His feet don't fit into newborn shoes)
- He has a crooked toe ( just like Ash and Sam)
- He loves to snuggle
- He gets the hiccups a lot
- He LOVES his mama (almost as much as I love him)
- He loves his dad and recognizes his voice.
-He is pretty calm and only cries when he needs something.
- He will roll onto his side if you lay him down to sleep
- He likes to be wrapped really tight in a blanket to sleep.
- He is starting to get the nursing thing down really well ( and I am getting better too)
-He is really strong and can hold back pretty good when we try to put his mittens on.
-He crosses his ankles like we saw him do in the ultrasounds
- He loves to put his hands under his chin and to lay on my chest. He does it after every time he eats.
- He fits into newborn clothes but we only have a few so he gets to wear really baggy 0-3 mth old clothes.
-He has a dimple on his chin
- He wiggles a lot and makes a lot of noise when he sleeps
-He looks adorable in hats!
-He doesn't mind Gator trying to check him out and doesn't even really get startled when he barks.
- We have to wake him up to eat and he eats about every 3 to 3 and a half hours.
- I think he looks like he's getting more hair.
- He looks just like Sam- except with my nose and mouth.
- He LOVES to be held.
- He likes his crib
- He is so chill and relaxed in the morning.
- He is mesmerized by the sound of the washing machine.
- He likes to have his head washed.
- He is so sweet!

We are so in love with this little guy!

Hayes's Birth Story

I have really slacked off on writing, but I have a really good excuse because Hayes is here! On Friday April 12, 2013 my water broke. I was at home and been in bed watching TV for a little while. It was just before ten pm when I got up to go to the bathroom. I had stood back up and was heading back to bed when all of the sudden I felt a gush. I wasn't sure what was happening but I knew I didn't have any control of it. I kept going for a little while and eventually I just started laughing. Sam could hear and asked me what was gong on. I told him my water had broken. He started panicking a little at that point. I called my mom and asked what to do. She was so excited and told me to call labor and delivery. I really didn't want to go right in because I wasn't having contractions and I had heard its better to try and labor from home. I called though and sure enough they said I needed to come right in and get checked. I showered and put some clothes on and we were off. My mom came and got Gator so the poor thing wouldn't be home alone. We checked into the hospital and waited. Right after I checked in they had 3 babies come and the nurses had to go help. So, after an hour they came back to check me. When the nurse was checking me the rest of my water came out- everywhere. So, they moved me rooms and started me on pitocen . They said since my water had broken I needed to be contracting- but I wasn't. They said I had 24 hours before he needed to be out- little did I know my body was going to take that as a challenge. They hooked me up and over the next few hours my contractions really started. They came so fast and hard I hardly had time to breath. It was awful. Finally at 3 am I got an epidural . It helped a lot. The next morning our families came over. I was so glad to see them. I can't remember for sure but I think I was only dilated to a 3 or 4 by 8 or 9 the next day. A nurse named Bonnie was there with me and really was such an angel. It's weird because my mom ended up knowing her because they went to nursing school together and it turned out she lives in Sam's parent's ward. Small world. A large portion of the day is a huge blur to me. I think for my own benefit. My epidural was not as effective later on and I could feel the contractions, sometimes really intensely.

The day progressed slowly and my body was making just enough progress that they let me keep going. Finally, around 5 they decided to try and have me push. I was at a ten. I tried and tried and tried. My back, neck, and shoulders were screaming at me ( stupid car crash). I tried pushing for more than a hour with little to no improvement. Sam got a little sick at one point and had to sit down and drink some juice. The doc explained to me that the baby's head was turned and it was not fitting through. He explained about a c-section. He said it was still my choice but the baby was not recovering well from the contractions. He asked me if I wanted to keep trying. I asked if it would make a difference. He said no, so I said is that even a question then? I was so physically and emotionally exhausted. I don't remember much around this point but I distinctly remember my sisters and mom crying. I cried too. I'm not exactly sure why I was crying- fatigue, fear, or relief? Maybe all of them.

When they took me back I remember crying a lot, I didn't want to loose it like that in front of everyone. They prepped me and tried to start. I could feel everything. They didn't believe me, so I moved my legs for them. They said the only option at that point was to knock me completely out, so that's what they did.

The next part I have rely on what I have been told because I didn't come to for a couple of hours. The baby got some of the meds and had to be put on oxygen and worked on for a little bit. I am glad I missed that part. He did come around a few minutes later. Sam was the first to hold him. They took us back to the room and let everyone hold him. They had me and him do skin to skin. I remember coming in and out at this point. I remember saying "I just wish I could open my eyes and see him." I apparently asked quite a few times if he really was a boy, how much he weighed and if he was really here. The nurses and my mom helped me nurse him.

I don't remember too much until we got to our room upstairs. I just looked at him and studied all of his features. He was so tiny ( 7 lbs even- 19.5 inches long). He was so perfect. I was instantly so in love with him. I would do that again a hundred times if Hayes was on the other end. It was incredibly difficult but I am beyond happy he's here. The nurse upstairs told Sam if it wasn't for modern medicine both Hayes and I wouldn't have survived. That was very upsetting for me, but also does make me incredibly grateful for modern medicine.

During labor I had so many incredible experiences. If pregnancy wasn't spiritual enough, labor and delivery was so far above and beyond. Sam and my dad gave me a blessing and it was one of the first times Sam has given me a blessing, and it was perfect. After Hayes was born him and my dad gave one to him too. It was so beautiful. He called me Hayes's mama in the blessing and my heart melted. Nothing sounded more amazing to me than to hear him say that. Probably one of the most special and amazing things that happened was I felt someone kiss my forehead and I knew it was Sam's dad. He was there and so comforting. I have always been sad I never met him, but I knew in that moment he knew me and was there for our special day. I will never forget how special and amazing that moment was. Heaven is so close and I am so grateful that our Heavenly Father allowed Ricky to come be apart of Hayes coming to earth. I know he watched over me and Hayes and how grateful I am for that.

39 Weeks {April 15, 2013}

**I wrote this the day before I went into labor, so I technically never made it to 39 weeks, but I had to post this anyways. :)

What a funny place we're in right now. We literally could have this baby any minute. It is so strange to be sitting around waiting for your entire life to change. I envy a little bit the people that schedule their babies. Being able to plan on a date and approximate time would be nice. I am glad though that things have been going well and that my body has a chance to do it naturally. I just wish I had a better idea of when, that being said, I do feel like we're getting close. I thought this morning-- I bet we have him this week.... so who knows, maybe this week it is.

I have been feeling pretty sick to my stomach. It feels very much like when I am almost done having a kidney stone. Not unbearable, but I can tell things are happening. The baby's kicks have been so funny lately. He is getting so strong. The other day he kicked the top of my stomach so hard, so I poked him back. He wiggled around and snuggled back down. I laughed because it was almost like he was kicking be because he's bored in there waiting to come too. I guess we're not the only ones waiting for him to make his appearance.

I have been thinking more and more about trying to go all natural. I think the only thing I can really commit to is trying. This is just so foreign and I know how I get. I am so stubborn that I get myself into really bad places physically, because I don't like to quit. (The marathon this past year is case and point). I don't want to go into labor thinking its going to be easy and that I should just get drugged up, but I also don't want to avoid having an epidural and make things harder on the baby. So, right now I am fully committed to trying and seeing how things go. Sam thinks I am absolutely crazy. He keeps saying "You should just have the baby the modern way." haha and by the modern way- he means epidural the second we get the hospital. He and I had a "come to Jesus" talk about not saying those types of things to me when we are at the hospital. He says he will probably be so scared he won't say anything... hahaha I bet that's exactly what happens. :)... He is a very smart guy.

Week 39-- April 15, 2013

Dear Hayes:

We are so close to meeting you that I can almost taste it. Part of me can't believe its already time, and another part of me can hardly wait a second longer. Me and your dad talk about all the time what we think you'll look like. Its weird to feel like I know you and love you so much and to have no idea what you look like. I have heard that when moms see their babies for the first time the baby recognizes the mom and the mom recognizes the baby. I hope that's what happens for you and me. I am so excited to see you.

I think I am most looking forward to you and your dad meeting. He is so ready to meet you. You and I have had more than 9 months getting to know each other, and this will be the first time he really gets to feel how cool you are. I am excited for that time to come. Gator is pretty excited to meet you too, so don't take too much longer to come and meet everyone.

We are so ready to welcome you into our lives. See you very soon!

Love you!
Love, Mom

Pregnancy update:

Total Weight gain: This part has been kind of weird. For a couple of weeks I was loosing weight, and my total weight gain was around 27 pounds, but then last week all the weight I had lost came right back. So, to date my total weight gain is 31 pounds, but who knows what it will be when I get weighed this week.

Wedding ring: Off. I don't think I have worn it since week 35 or 36.

Cravings: I haven't been able to eat as much lately. I either get crazy heartburn or I get so full so fast I feel sick. When I am hungry I have been loving pudding, fruit snacks,  pizza, and I still love Durangos. I have a hard time eating in the mornings because that's usually when I feel the most sick to my stomach so I have been eating a protein bar for breakfast most days. I use to really love a big glass of milk too, but lately I feel like all milk smells rotten (even though Sam assures me its not).

Clothes: I literally wear the same maxi skirts with a t-shirt or my black maternity pants with a t-shirt. I hate wearing normal shoes because my feet keep swelling up so much, so I wear sandals every day-- even the other day when it was raining and cold.

Sleep: I can still sleep really pretty good. I usually get up one time in the night. For a week though I was waking up every four hours like clock work, and I was wide awake. It was SO weird. I joked that maybe my body was just trying to prep for whats coming, but the waking up has stopped and can pretty much sleep all night (and for me that's at least 10 hours). I hope my body is banking up all those hours so I don't kill over when Hayes gets here.

Swelling: Yup, my hands and feet swell and I feel like my face does too. Luckily its not too uncomfortable  and usually goes all the way down in the morning.

Contractions: Yup, I am pretty sure I have been having some. I am still having a hard time figuring out what I am feeling so I just assume that's what they are. Nothing that I can time regularly enough to get worried or excited, but they are there.

Dilated: Last time I got checked I was between a 2 and 3, but I haven't been checked for two weeks. I will get checked again on Wednesday and see where things are. I have my fingers crossed I am at least a 4.

Mood: I have been pretty normal I think. I do have moments where I feel extra sensitive, but for the most part pretty happy, and tired.

Exercise: I have been walking still. I can usually only go for about 20 minutes, so I have been trying to walk a little at lunch and then 20 minutes in the evening. When I walk I do feel more contractions, but I think the biggest problem is that I am too scared to get too far from home, so I can only tolerate walking around our little block for so long before I am just done. Poor Gator is so confused why we don't walk very far anymore. I think he thinks our walks are kind of a let down now. I have also really tried to do my ball exercises, its crazy how much pressure they take off my back.

Easter {March 30, 2013}

This year we kept Easter really low key. I didn't even do an Easter basket for Sam. We did have an Easter egg hunt at my mom's. The kids loved it. Stock was so funny. He ate SO much candy. Me and Ash were laughing because we were both so sick watching how much he could eat. hahaha My mom felt bad that Gator didn't get to hunt for Easter eggs, so she filled up a couple of plastic eggs with his dog food and let him play with them. He's so spoiled.

These two are the only ones who would smile for a picture. Sorry Jent and Call-- you should have smiled :) 

I love Gator

Gator is still being SO protective of me. He is so sweet and always likes to get right by me, its like he can't get close enough. This is my favorite thing he does--

When I am standing talking to Sam and not paying attention to him, he comes and sits right next to me and puts his head in my hand. He doesn't mind if I keep talking, just as long as I pet him at the same time. He is such a sweetie pie. I just love our little Gator.  

Sam has a pony tail

Sam and I are each coping with the anxiety of having a baby in different ways. I am spending way too much money at Target and stocking up on toilet paper and paper towels like a mad woman. Sam is dying to get a motorcycle and has decided to grow his hair out. Its crazy how fast his hair grows because he already can tie it into a little pony tail. He laughs and thinks its so funny- and I will agree he does look pretty funny.

This baby better get her sooner rather than later or who knows where we are going to be. I may be lost in a pile of  empty Target bags, married to a Jesus look-alike. 

Dog Drama {April 7, 2013}

Lately we have had some "dog drama" in our neighborhood. It all started about 2 months ago. Our neighbor was walking with their dog, but didn't have him on a leash. They walked by our house at the same time that Gator and I were getting ready to go for our walk (however Gator was on a leash). Their dog bolted for us as soon as he saw us and started attacking Gator. Gator obviously fought back and a full blown dog fight erupted  with me in the middle of it. I yelled at the lady to get her dog, and tried to pull Gator back. Luckily, after a few minutes she finally kicked the dog away and got him on his leash. She however dropped the leash and the dog attacked again. This time it was much shorter and less intense. It was horrible though. I was so upset and mad at her for being so careless. I got a scratch on my leg, but ultimately we just let the whole thing drop. I was mad, but not irrational, I realize these things just happen sometimes.

Well, on Sunday we had another incident. This same dog, with the same lady was out in the neighborhood (not on a leash again) when we were just getting home from our walk. We were literally a block away from our house when this same dog came charging at us again. The same lady standing by with leash in hand- but without her dog on it. I saw the dog coming and yelled for it to stay back. I picked up a good size rock and threw it at the dog- but seriously nothing would deter it from coming. He literally launched at us this time. I again  was screaming at the lady to grab her dog- her again standing by not really doing anything. Luckily another neighbor was close by and came to help. He kicked the dog again and tried to create a barrier between us and the dog so the lady could get him on his leash. Again, after she got him on the leash- she dropped it and the attacked started again. This time I yelled at her. I was shaking and crying yelling at her to keep her dog on a leash and that this was now the second time we had been attacked by her dog-- and because of her carelessness. I was SO upset. This time that dog had got my hand. I had a tiny bit of blood, but the mark was mostly just red and bruised. I think one of his little teeth just caught it, he didn't actually bit down on me.

After we got home, we decided we needed to go talk to these neighbors and find out if their dog had been vaccinated and to try and resolve the problems we had been having. We headed straight over there, but they wouldn't open the door and talk to us. This made me even more upset, so I reported the attack to the police. I felt awful for doing it and for making such a big deal, but I hate feeling like I can't walk around my neighborhood without getting attacked by a dog. Plus, there was really no other way to find out if the dog had its rabies shots.

The report was filed and the police officer talked to the neighbors. They got cited for letting their dog out without a leash and the whole thing was going to be over, or so I thought. The next day I got a call from animal control. They let me know that the neighbor had brought the dog in and paid for it to get put down. I felt HORRIBLE. I did not intend for the dog to die over this incident- I just wanted the neighbor to always keep him on a leash and to let us know that it had its rabies shots. I am so sad that this dog is going to die because I called the police on it. The only thing I have to think is that maybe this dog really is vicious and that the lady really just can't handle it. I hate the it turned into such a big deal. The dog lover in me is devastated  but the future mom in me can't help but breathe a little easier knowing that dog won't attack us when we are out walking with Hayes. I can't imagine how pissed I would be if I was out walking with my new baby and that dog tried to attack us again. I can't even imagine how awful that would be.

After that attack I went and got some mace to hopefully deter other dog attacks in the future.

 Dog drama is the worst.

Car seat? Check.

Sam decided it was time to get the car seat into the car and all set to go. So, the other night he spent a good 30 minutes reading instructions and attaching everything into the back seat of my car. He just kept saying "We just have to make sure its safe." My heart literally melted. Watching him be this excited and sweet made me love him even more. I am so glad my sweet Hayes has such a sweet dad.

38 Weeks {April 8, 2013}

No matter what calculation you use, I am now considered completely full term. So, he seriously could be here any minute. The closer I get to having Hayes, the more surreal it becomes. Me and my mom talk about ALL the time how being pregnant is A LOT like running a marathon. The only difference I can see right now is that when I run the marathon I know EXACTLY where the finish line is, and I know how long it will take me to get there. With being pregnant, I know where the finish line is- I just don't know exactly where I am on the course. I could be on Main Street, or on 300 South.... (if you have run the marathon you know exactly what I'm talking about). I know the finish line is coming up, I am just not exactly how long its going to take me to get there... I just have to keep moving. I usually spend a good portion of 300 South crying, so if pregnancy is the same, I may be turning on to 300 South right now. I realize if you haven't run the marathon I probably don't make any sense, so to clarify 300 South is the street you finish the marathon on, but you have to run on it for about .3 miles before you finish. .3 miles may not seem like very long at all, but trust me, it is. When you have just run 26 miles and you can see the finish line for the entire time it can take FOREVER to finish. 300 South is where A LOT of people throw up and have their legs give out.  Physically you aren't really sure how you are still going, or why you can speed up, but you do.You accomplish your goal on 300 South.  It can get pretty emotional. In fact, I get pretty emotional just writing about it. I feel so happy that Hayes is going to be my new finish line and I can't imagine anything better to keep working towards than him. (I am so glad I am alone when I write these, because seriously I am an emotional mess, and if anyone saw me I would be so embarrassed).

I feel like I have done all the preparing I can possibly do, and now I am just waiting. I almost wish I still had a list of things to do so I could keep myself distracted. Lately though I feel like I am back in my 1st trimester with being SO exhausted. Luckily I can usually lay down for 20 minutes or so, and I seem to get some energy from that. Walking and keeping moving has helped too. I am betting I have at least a week left, so I hope I don't go absolutely nuts-- or sleep the whole time. 

Week 38 -- April 8, 2013

Dear Hayes:

We're getting closer and closer to meeting you and I can hardly wait to see what you're like. We decided to start making bets on when you will arrive and how big you're going to be. I say you're going to come on April 21. I think you will weigh 7 pounds and 4 ounces. I think you'll be 20 inches long. I really hope I'm right or close to right on you're birthday. I decided that I want to have birthday cake at the hospital when you come... because its not a proper birthday without birthday cake. I am hoping I can talk your dad into picking one up for us once you get here. I love birthdays and I can hardly wait to celebrate yours. 

I have been getting pretty nervous thinking about being you're mom. I hope I don't make too many horrible mistakes. Sometimes when I am out and about I see teenage boys and I wonder what you'll be like as a teenager. Some of the boys I see make me think: "Hayes better not be like that!" and other ones I see I think "I hope Hayes is like that." I hope that you always hold the door open for people. I hope you are nice to people. I hope you are respectful. I hope that you work hard. I hope that you never let other people's opinions bring you down. I hope you are happy. I hope you get silly, but know when to stop. I hope you will always give me a hug and tell me you love me even if your friends are around. 

I can hardly wait to meet you! 

Love you! 

Love, Mom 

The neighbor cats were walking down the street when I took these ones-- Gator obviously had to watch and see where they went so he would know where to start looking for them when he went out front.

 He takes his cat watching very seriously :) 

Quotes

I use to post my favorite quotes all the time, but it got pretty old tracking good ones down and then making sure I hadn't already posted them. I absolutely love a good quote though. So, here are some of my most favorite as of late:

Another appointment {April 3, 2013}

Today was another appointment. I feel like everyone at my doctor's office is more anxious and ready for me to have this baby than I am. My doc always says "See ya next week, unless you get lucky and I see you in labor and delivery!" ... I always say "Hopefully not for a few more weeks-- I'll meet you there on the 20th!" I think most women get to this point and they just so ready to have their babies. I feel extra nervous about him getting here and what its going to be like to take care of him after, so I am ok waiting a little longer. I feel like I am finally starting to get the pregnancy thing down. Weird how that happens.

So, the report is this: I am still at a two (but he said between a two and a three) and 50% thinned. I guess that means I am still making progress, but luckily slow progress. Everything was good, which makes me so incredibly happy. My strep test was negative, which means no antibiotics at delivery. So, all in all, things are good- we're making progress and ready or not Hayes will be here in the next few weeks.

Ali's married!!! {March 30, 2013}

Ali and Luke got married over the weekend in Salt Lake. Unfortunately because I am so far along in my pregnancy my doc said "No traveling!"... so I had to miss out on all the celebrations. Luckily for me, I convinced everyone to send me pictures through out the day so I could see what was going on. I was SO glad every time one of these gems showed up.

Ali looked AMAZING! I am so incredibly happy for her and Luke and excited to watch them start their lives together. They are such a sweet couple!