Today I had another appointment with my doc. It went well and everything was pretty normal. I am measuring a little small, but hopefully things will catch up just fine. I have always measured right where I should, and everything has been just where they say it should. It bothered me today that I was measuring a week behind. His heartbeat was good, 131. That is a little lower than it normally is, but apparently still very normal. It bothered me that it was lower. I think I have been pretty spoiled by having everything be so uneventful and literally right on schedule. I left the office glad to have heard his heartbeat, and glad that I am still growing, but concerned and a little irritated.
I had a long talk with my mom about my concerns. I am so grateful to have her. She knows what to say to calm me down and to reassure me. I don't know what I would do without her. I realized that maybe I was overreacting a little and that I needed to focus on being grateful for another uneventful visit, a solid heart beat, and growth.
I think the the constant worry was one thing I never really understood until now. I have never understood what parents meant when they said they worry about their kids ALL THE TIME. I feel like I am slowly learning what that means. I really underestimated just how much worrying parents do, and how much I could worry about a little boy who I have never technically seen. Its amazing how much I care about him and his well being. So, I am grateful things are still doing good. I am grateful I feel him wiggle and move. I am grateful to get to hear his sweet little heartbeat. I am grateful that I get the chance to be his mom and that worry is just something that comes with the territory. Lesson one in being a parent- worrying- check done.
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