Today I had another appointment with my doc. It went well and everything was pretty normal. I am measuring a little small, but hopefully things will catch up just fine. I have always measured right where I should, and everything has been just where they say it should. It bothered me today that I was measuring a week behind. His heartbeat was good, 131. That is a little lower than it normally is, but apparently still very normal. It bothered me that it was lower. I think I have been pretty spoiled by having everything be so uneventful and literally right on schedule. I left the office glad to have heard his heartbeat, and glad that I am still growing, but concerned and a little irritated.
I had a long talk with my mom about my concerns. I am so grateful to have her. She knows what to say to calm me down and to reassure me. I don't know what I would do without her. I realized that maybe I was overreacting a little and that I needed to focus on being grateful for another uneventful visit, a solid heart beat, and growth.
I think the the constant worry was one thing I never really understood until now. I have never understood what parents meant when they said they worry about their kids ALL THE TIME. I feel like I am slowly learning what that means. I really underestimated just how much worrying parents do, and how much I could worry about a little boy who I have never technically seen. Its amazing how much I care about him and his well being. So, I am grateful things are still doing good. I am grateful I feel him wiggle and move. I am grateful to get to hear his sweet little heartbeat. I am grateful that I get the chance to be his mom and that worry is just something that comes with the territory. Lesson one in being a parent- worrying- check done.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Normal Life Update {February 25, 2013}
We have been keeping pretty busy the past few weeks. We have A LOT of really fun things coming up, and it seems like getting ready for everything has been taking up quite a bit of time. I hopefully have everything almost ready for Ali's shower next weekend. I am really hoping we can avoid a lot of day-of stress by getting pretty much everything ready right now. I have learned from my past showers that it is a good idea to pack boxes with all the stuff so that its in one central location and I have lots of time through out the week to add things to the box. Here is the start of my shower box:
I now have two more full, so hopefully that means that I haven't forgotten anything.
This past Saturday my mom was such a sweetheart and ran all around town with me to get ready. We had to go to Target for some stuff, and decided we should turn it into our normal Saturday trip. While we were there I found the cutest outfit and made my mom try it on. I was DYING! She looked so cute in it. I tried to get it for her, but she got it for herself instead. Isn't she the cutest!?
I think its the nesting and the fact that my baby shower is going to be at my house, but I have been trying to get things redone at my house. Here is some of the progress I have made:
Sam is trying to get in as many lake trips before the baby comes. He has already been to Lake Mead three or four times, and has plans to go at least a few more before the end of April. He has to stock up on his wakeboard time the same way I stock up on paper towels and cleaning supplies. Funny.
I now have two more full, so hopefully that means that I haven't forgotten anything.
This past Saturday my mom was such a sweetheart and ran all around town with me to get ready. We had to go to Target for some stuff, and decided we should turn it into our normal Saturday trip. While we were there I found the cutest outfit and made my mom try it on. I was DYING! She looked so cute in it. I tried to get it for her, but she got it for herself instead. Isn't she the cutest!?
I think its the nesting and the fact that my baby shower is going to be at my house, but I have been trying to get things redone at my house. Here is some of the progress I have made:
I have been meaning to finish that wall in my living room since we moved in, and finally got it complete this past weekend. I really like how it turned out, but now I feel like I need a new rug- oh man- when will it end?
My front patio still needs some work, but I sewed some new pillows, got my wreath back up, and got my sign on the door. I still think we need some pots with flowers on each side of the bench.
My new sign in my bathroom is SO fun huh! I now need a new shower curtain (it really is never ending)
The baby's room is coming together and I LOVE the frames. My vinyl for them should be done this week, and I thrilled to see it finished! Also, my neighbor is working on my crib skirt and I am SO excited to see it!
Sam is trying to get in as many lake trips before the baby comes. He has already been to Lake Mead three or four times, and has plans to go at least a few more before the end of April. He has to stock up on his wakeboard time the same way I stock up on paper towels and cleaning supplies. Funny.
32 Weeks {February 25, 2013}
Man oh man these past few weeks especially have just FLOWN by! I absolutely hate it. I absolutely love feeling this little guy move around and knowing that he is in a safe place. I am getting nervous and a little sad that it is slowly (and not so slowly) coming to an end. I NEVER thought I would be the girl that would love being pregnant, but I can already tell I am going to miss his kicks and wiggles. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that are not so great about being pregnant, but the good parts outweigh the bad ones by a lot. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to carry this baby and I think knowing that has made the whole experience enjoyable and exciting. Thinking about the delivery part does make me a little nervous, but I try not to think about it.
We have made some more progress on the room, and things are really starting to come together. I am LOVING how its turning out. The big thing that I am dying to get in there is a chair. I have a few I like, but we waiting until after the shower to get the rest of the baby stuff we need. Its been hard for me not to buy stuff for him, but I am holding strong.
Before we got pregnant, we had set some financial goals and we are seriously SO close to achieving them. If I can resist buying baby stuff a little longer, I know we will get there. That makes me SO happy! I love being able to see progress and to reduce stress. I really think having a strong hard deadline helped a lot. (I mean he will be here in April, ready or not).
I started working on a baby book and transferred all of the letters I have been writing over to it. I am really glad I have those posts to look back over. I think its fun to see the changes and progress we have made. I am debating whether I should try to get the book all together and print it before he's born, and just leave some of the pages blank or if I should wait until after. I like the idea of having it done before he gets here, but I think I will wait until after so everything is typed up and in the order I want. I think I just hate the idea of having projects to worry about after. It is getting a bit out of control-- like more than 50 pages already.
Week 32- February 25, 2013
Dear Hayes:
I think it was 13 years ago today that my Grandpa Mack died. I remember it pretty clearly because it was exactly one week after my birthday, and because it was really unexpected. He was such a good man. I hope that you have been able to spend a lot of time getting to know him in Heaven. He was pretty funny and I bet is just loving hanging out with you right now. I am guessing him and my Grandma Mack are spending lots of time together with you. Even though they were divorced, everyone knew how much they loved each other. I hope that all of our loved ones are taking such good care of you right now and that you will take all of their best qualities and bring them with you. I love the thought of you hanging out with everyone up there and them giving you all kinds of advice before you make your arrival. Make sure you tell them just how much we love them and miss them.
We have been working extra hard on your room to get things put together. Your dad is such a sweetie and has to make sure everything is secured down and has no risk of falling down. He doesn't like to do all the projects I make him do, but he loves getting things ready for you.
I think you are starting to get pretty cramped in my tummy. Your wiggles are funny and a lot stronger. You kicked my side last night and I almost said "ouch" because it was so much stronger than your kicks have been in the past. I love knowing that you are getting big and strong. You still LOVE to kick Gator when he lays by me. I know he likes to feel you too! I don't know if its your or me, but peanut butter has been sounding pretty awesome lately, especially peanut butter m&m's. :) I decided to really cut back on the soda we're drinking until after you get here. Since its getting so close to the time you'll be here I figured it would be best to cut back on that. You don't seem to mind. Don't worry though, after you get here I'll take you to swig and get a drink (You can't get one, but when you get bigger I will buy you one).
I am really excited to meet you officially (even though I feel like I know you already). I will see you in eight weeks or so.
Love you!
Love, Mom
Here's one of the projects we've been working on. The frames will each have a letter spelling out his name!
We have made some more progress on the room, and things are really starting to come together. I am LOVING how its turning out. The big thing that I am dying to get in there is a chair. I have a few I like, but we waiting until after the shower to get the rest of the baby stuff we need. Its been hard for me not to buy stuff for him, but I am holding strong.
Before we got pregnant, we had set some financial goals and we are seriously SO close to achieving them. If I can resist buying baby stuff a little longer, I know we will get there. That makes me SO happy! I love being able to see progress and to reduce stress. I really think having a strong hard deadline helped a lot. (I mean he will be here in April, ready or not).
I started working on a baby book and transferred all of the letters I have been writing over to it. I am really glad I have those posts to look back over. I think its fun to see the changes and progress we have made. I am debating whether I should try to get the book all together and print it before he's born, and just leave some of the pages blank or if I should wait until after. I like the idea of having it done before he gets here, but I think I will wait until after so everything is typed up and in the order I want. I think I just hate the idea of having projects to worry about after. It is getting a bit out of control-- like more than 50 pages already.
Week 32- February 25, 2013
Dear Hayes:
I think it was 13 years ago today that my Grandpa Mack died. I remember it pretty clearly because it was exactly one week after my birthday, and because it was really unexpected. He was such a good man. I hope that you have been able to spend a lot of time getting to know him in Heaven. He was pretty funny and I bet is just loving hanging out with you right now. I am guessing him and my Grandma Mack are spending lots of time together with you. Even though they were divorced, everyone knew how much they loved each other. I hope that all of our loved ones are taking such good care of you right now and that you will take all of their best qualities and bring them with you. I love the thought of you hanging out with everyone up there and them giving you all kinds of advice before you make your arrival. Make sure you tell them just how much we love them and miss them.
We have been working extra hard on your room to get things put together. Your dad is such a sweetie and has to make sure everything is secured down and has no risk of falling down. He doesn't like to do all the projects I make him do, but he loves getting things ready for you.
I think you are starting to get pretty cramped in my tummy. Your wiggles are funny and a lot stronger. You kicked my side last night and I almost said "ouch" because it was so much stronger than your kicks have been in the past. I love knowing that you are getting big and strong. You still LOVE to kick Gator when he lays by me. I know he likes to feel you too! I don't know if its your or me, but peanut butter has been sounding pretty awesome lately, especially peanut butter m&m's. :) I decided to really cut back on the soda we're drinking until after you get here. Since its getting so close to the time you'll be here I figured it would be best to cut back on that. You don't seem to mind. Don't worry though, after you get here I'll take you to swig and get a drink (You can't get one, but when you get bigger I will buy you one).
I am really excited to meet you officially (even though I feel like I know you already). I will see you in eight weeks or so.
Love you!
Love, Mom
Here's one of the projects we've been working on. The frames will each have a letter spelling out his name!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
31 Weeks {February 18, 2013}
Every week that goes by seems to go faster and faster. I feel like time is playing a funny joke on me and speeding up. I have had so many people ask me if I ready for this little guy to come, and I honestly have to say no. Once I hit 36/37 weeks then I will be more ready. (I have seen how hard things are for babies that come early and no matter what I feel like, I would rather have him stay in there longer and be healthier). Healthy baby= Happy Kacee. So, I always tell people I'm happy for him to stay put for another 5-8 weeks then I am sure I will be more than ready for him to come. Its weird because 5-8 weeks is not that long, and that part really scares me.
I was talking to my sister the other day and she was telling me about something my grandma had said. I have two cousins that are having babies before me, and one of them had her baby last week (and we could not be more excited for the new Barnes addition!). My grandma said "Natalie's baby is here, then we have Kylene, then it will be Kacee's turn" hahaha I always knew that's was order, but for some reason when she said it I felt like a kid waiting in line for a scary ride just watching the line in front of me getting shorter and shorter. I am thrilled to go on the ride, but my nerves just keep growing with each person that hops on and takes the ride. What a funny feeling to have.
Today I turned 26. That feels weird. When I was growing up I always said I wanted to wait to get married and have kids. Its funny being in my position now and thinking back to what I had imagined. I feel like I got married young (21) and I am so happy that I had almost 5 amazing years enjoying marriage. I am also incredibly thrilled to be at the stage in life that I'm at. I am so happy that things work out the way they are suppose to and that I am in the place in life that I am right now. I wouldn't want to be in any other place, and that is such a good feeling. I am happy that I am at a place where I feel like I can be a little less selfish and give my baby more of myself. I know if I would have had a baby earlier in life that may have been more difficult. I am happy that I get the opportunity to make sacrifices for this sweet baby. I know I would not have always been so happy to do that. I feel constantly reminded that my Heavenly Father knows me so much better than I know myself, and it is such a good feeling to be constantly reminded that he is aware of me. I feel eternally grateful that he is trusting me with this little one. The road to this little one has not been easy, and took so much planning and preparation. I am so grateful now, that I never wished that time away. What a blessing it is to be able to enjoy the moment I am in! I don't think I would ever share the whole journey Sam and I have taken to get to this little guy, it is too special to me to broadcast. I will say that I am grateful for the Lord's timing and his individual attention in our lives. I am one lucky girl. 25 has been good to me, and I feel like 26 will be even better.
I went to the doctor last week and everything was good. I can't describe how grateful I am for uneventful appointments. I love that he comes in and tells me that my baby is doing good, and growing how he should. I try not to take that for granted. I now gained about 21.5 pounds. I feel like it looks like a lot more than that. I am guessing my total weight gain will be somewhere around 35 pounds. (which is actually more like 50 than where I like to be, but I started out with 15 extra pounds that I should have gotten rid of before). So, my goal after will be to loose 50-60 pounds in a year. That seems like a lot, but I am hoping to deliver close 10 pounds of it- or more :) ( 7 for baby, 3 or more of the other stuff). When I really break it down, if I can deliver 10 of it, then I really only have to loose 4 pounds or so each month, totally healthy and totally do-able. That makes me feel like getting back into shape will be do-able and not quite so daunting.
{Week 31 - February 18, 2013)
Dear Hayes:
The doctor checked you and said you seem to be doing really good in there. He said you are laying on your side with your head down and bum up. You are so funny and kicked me when the doctor was measuring. You made both me and the doctor laugh when you did that. I love to go to my appointments and have them tell me how great you're doing. We are both so lucky.
I keep thinking about all the fun things we are going to do once you get here. I can hardly wait to show you off to all of our friends and family. I hope you are a such a sweet boy, just like your dad. I hope that you are spunky like me. I hope you are thoughtful like your Grandma Sydney. I hope you are funny like your Grandpa Ricky. I hope that you are intelligent and athletic like your Grandpa Rob. I hope that you are smart and driven like your Grandpa Mike. I hope that you are sweet and gentle like your Grandma Lynne. I hope that you are aware of people around you, and always act on your intuitions like your Great Grandma Cardon. I hope that you are outgoing and friendly like your Great Grandma Susan. I hope you are generous like your Great Grandma Phyllis. But most of all I hope that you are happy being Hayes Weldin and that you know just how special that is, and how incredibly amazing you are. I hope that you ALWAYS know what a huge blessing you are in our lives that you are the answer to so many prayers,dreams, and hopes. You are so wanted. You were planned. You were prepared for. You are one of the greatest blessing for so many people and on so many levels. I can't begin to describe just how important you are to me. You have truly become my whole world, and the craziest thing about that is that you aren't even here yet. I can only imagine how much better things will be once you're here.
I feel like the luckiest mom in the whole world knowing that you're mine!
Love, Mom
I was talking to my sister the other day and she was telling me about something my grandma had said. I have two cousins that are having babies before me, and one of them had her baby last week (and we could not be more excited for the new Barnes addition!). My grandma said "Natalie's baby is here, then we have Kylene, then it will be Kacee's turn" hahaha I always knew that's was order, but for some reason when she said it I felt like a kid waiting in line for a scary ride just watching the line in front of me getting shorter and shorter. I am thrilled to go on the ride, but my nerves just keep growing with each person that hops on and takes the ride. What a funny feeling to have.
Today I turned 26. That feels weird. When I was growing up I always said I wanted to wait to get married and have kids. Its funny being in my position now and thinking back to what I had imagined. I feel like I got married young (21) and I am so happy that I had almost 5 amazing years enjoying marriage. I am also incredibly thrilled to be at the stage in life that I'm at. I am so happy that things work out the way they are suppose to and that I am in the place in life that I am right now. I wouldn't want to be in any other place, and that is such a good feeling. I am happy that I am at a place where I feel like I can be a little less selfish and give my baby more of myself. I know if I would have had a baby earlier in life that may have been more difficult. I am happy that I get the opportunity to make sacrifices for this sweet baby. I know I would not have always been so happy to do that. I feel constantly reminded that my Heavenly Father knows me so much better than I know myself, and it is such a good feeling to be constantly reminded that he is aware of me. I feel eternally grateful that he is trusting me with this little one. The road to this little one has not been easy, and took so much planning and preparation. I am so grateful now, that I never wished that time away. What a blessing it is to be able to enjoy the moment I am in! I don't think I would ever share the whole journey Sam and I have taken to get to this little guy, it is too special to me to broadcast. I will say that I am grateful for the Lord's timing and his individual attention in our lives. I am one lucky girl. 25 has been good to me, and I feel like 26 will be even better.
I went to the doctor last week and everything was good. I can't describe how grateful I am for uneventful appointments. I love that he comes in and tells me that my baby is doing good, and growing how he should. I try not to take that for granted. I now gained about 21.5 pounds. I feel like it looks like a lot more than that. I am guessing my total weight gain will be somewhere around 35 pounds. (which is actually more like 50 than where I like to be, but I started out with 15 extra pounds that I should have gotten rid of before). So, my goal after will be to loose 50-60 pounds in a year. That seems like a lot, but I am hoping to deliver close 10 pounds of it- or more :) ( 7 for baby, 3 or more of the other stuff). When I really break it down, if I can deliver 10 of it, then I really only have to loose 4 pounds or so each month, totally healthy and totally do-able. That makes me feel like getting back into shape will be do-able and not quite so daunting.
{Week 31 - February 18, 2013)
Dear Hayes:
The doctor checked you and said you seem to be doing really good in there. He said you are laying on your side with your head down and bum up. You are so funny and kicked me when the doctor was measuring. You made both me and the doctor laugh when you did that. I love to go to my appointments and have them tell me how great you're doing. We are both so lucky.
I keep thinking about all the fun things we are going to do once you get here. I can hardly wait to show you off to all of our friends and family. I hope you are a such a sweet boy, just like your dad. I hope that you are spunky like me. I hope you are thoughtful like your Grandma Sydney. I hope you are funny like your Grandpa Ricky. I hope that you are intelligent and athletic like your Grandpa Rob. I hope that you are smart and driven like your Grandpa Mike. I hope that you are sweet and gentle like your Grandma Lynne. I hope that you are aware of people around you, and always act on your intuitions like your Great Grandma Cardon. I hope that you are outgoing and friendly like your Great Grandma Susan. I hope you are generous like your Great Grandma Phyllis. But most of all I hope that you are happy being Hayes Weldin and that you know just how special that is, and how incredibly amazing you are. I hope that you ALWAYS know what a huge blessing you are in our lives that you are the answer to so many prayers,dreams, and hopes. You are so wanted. You were planned. You were prepared for. You are one of the greatest blessing for so many people and on so many levels. I can't begin to describe just how important you are to me. You have truly become my whole world, and the craziest thing about that is that you aren't even here yet. I can only imagine how much better things will be once you're here.
I feel like the luckiest mom in the whole world knowing that you're mine!
Love, Mom
Monday, February 11, 2013
30 Weeks {February 11, 2013}
I was looking through my older baby posts and couldn't help buy laugh. I have seriously been dressing so causal and almost sloppy lately. Its a little embarrassing, but in my defense its a big struggle to find something that fits me. I also had to laugh because it seems like around week 22 my stomach just popped right out and has continued to just get bigger and bigger ever since.
I have had an internal battle with clothing, and just recently that internal battle became an external one.... whats does that mean? I tried to wear something that quite obviously does not fit anymore, but because I am so stubborn and refused to waste my money on maternity clothes I was incredibly uncomfortable and had to go home at lunch and change because I was such a hot mess. I got home and looked in the mirror and realized my shirt was basically bursting at the buttons, my zipper wouldn't stay up on my pants because they were too tight, and I looked SO SLOPPY I was incredibly embarrassed because of how much of the day had passed with me looking like that. It was a humbling moment for sure. I realized I was ready to give in an buy some other maternity pieces- almost completely because I felt so bad showing up at work looking like such a crazy lady- my poor boss.
So last week I headed off to Target and Old Navy thinking that I would swing in and find a number of things that I could grow into and that I like (because I usually can find a hundred things in both of those stores that I love). Unfortunately, once I got there I was incredibly disappointed. To make a long story short I may or may not have had a minor break down in Target (tears and all) because I could not find anything that I liked and that would fit my constantly growing tummy. I think I was just so frustrated with my body, and feeling like its such a weird shape right now and that no one can even make clothes to fit it. I headed off to Old Navy with a little more hope, but was pretty disappointed there too. I did find one maternity dress. (I bought two others that were on a crazy sale that I can't really wear now but they were too cheap and cute to pass up). I was a half hour late for dinner at my mother-in-law's house because of my emotional break down. Sydney is such a sweet heart and didn't mind at all the I was so late, and even got out a few dresses and a skirt that I could barrow that would hopefully fit me. I felt even worse about being late, but honestly so grateful to have something else to wear. Then to my even bigger surprise a few days later Grandma Susan and Aunt Sheila brought me a bag of clothes they had bought for me that would hopefully fit my constantly growing belly. I was so embarrassed that I had made such a big deal out of not having anything to wear, but also so grateful that all of these sweet people would think about me. Then, a day or two later, my mom bought me a new maternity dress. I am seriously so overwhelmed by the love and generosity around me. I am so blessed to have such kind and thoughtful people. I feel horrible that I was such a baby, and I really need to remember that people besides my sisters take my whining as real and not just me being a baby for a little bit. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful caring people in my life!
Who would have thought that my biggest issue with being pregnant would be with the clothes (actually I should have seen that one coming). Hopefully I have a few more choices now to wear during my work week, at least enough to last me ten weeks. (I can't believe I have ten weeks left. That BLOWS my mind!!).
I have been reading a lot lately and actually really enjoying it. I have read a few books that I could barely put down. I have also started a few books that I wish I had never picked up. The most recent- Then The Rain Came Down by Brooke Shields. I thought I would gain a lot of insight into what women go through with postpartum depression, but I could barely get through the first 60 pages because she shared so much information about her problems conceiving, her dad dying, miscarriages, and then a HORRIBLE delivery. I just could not finish it. Wrong choice for this point in my life. It seems like ever since I have been pregnant people LOVE to share their horror stories with me. I feel like I am constantly hearing about someone's miscarriage, or someone almost dying during the delivery, or someone else with something horrible that happened during pregnancy. I honestly do not understand the need some people have to share the most awful things about pregnancy and delivery with pregnant women. To me, it would make more sense to be extra shielded from those kinds of things while you're pregnant. I understand that people need to share, but to be honest, its rarely the woman that went through the trauma that shares. The stories always start out "I knew a girl once that..." or "My sister's delivery was horrible because...." or "I heard about a lady that...." or even better "In a book I read once this lady....." I have rarely had someone say, "I almost died during the delivery, and since you are going to go through that, let me tell you all the horrible things that can go wrong...." Maybe all the women that actually go through it know that that's the last thing I want to hear about right now. People are funny I guess. But for my own personal benefit later on- "Kacee, if you have something horrible or traumatic happen during pregnancy or delivery or if you hear of something, DO NOT share it with someone who is pregnant. THEY DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT!" Now if I ever catch my self trying to do that to someone else, hopefully I will remember that and just stop and tell them how much I have LOVED being pregnant and what an amazing miracle it is.
On that happier note, I feel like I do need to write down and remember just how amazing this pregnancy journey has been so far. I love feeling him move around, and I love to watch my tummy grow. I love being apart of this journey. I love that I get to be the one to spend this 40 weeks with our baby. I love that my body just knows what to do, and I love that his body does too. I love that everything happening has such a divine purpose and that everything is preparation for something that coming. I feel incredibly honored to be a mom to such a sweet boy, and that my Heavenly Father is trusting me and Sam to care for and protect him. I honestly love touching and feeling my stomach and watching this little life grow inside of me. I really feel like pregnancy is one of the best things I have ever been apart of. I am truly honored to be pregnant and to get to experience this, it is life changing.
30 Weeks {February 11, 2013}
Dear Hayes:
We are one week closer to meeting you and I am absolutely thrilled. I can hardly wait to see you and your cute face. I been having dreams about you lately, but when I wake up I can never remember what you look like. Maybe that means I already know who you are and what you look like, but my conscious mind isn't able to remember that yet. Its fun to think that I may already know you, but that I just can't remember that.
You are such a fun wiggly baby. You especially love to move when I lay down to go to sleep. You also love to kick a lot when Gator is laying by me. Me and your dad joke that you either really love him and you are trying to play already, or that you two may get pretty jealous of each other. hahaha I am betting its that you want to play. Your kicks and wiggles are getting so much stronger and I think that means you have been working on your muscles in there. You are getting to be such a strong baby.
I have always felt like you are such a special baby. I feel like you are going to be such an amazing person. I can't wait to see all the things you do and places you go. I have a feeling you are going to do great things with your life, and I am so lucky to be able to have a front row seat.
I hope that you will always know how much me and your dad planned and prepared for you. We waited for a lot of years for you, but I already feel like you were worth the wait. I hope that you always want to spend time with me and that you know you can come to me with anything. I can't even begin to describe the love I already have for you. You made me a mom. You made life so much better, even the thought of you makes life so much better. I am anxiously waiting for the day that I get to hold you and see your sweet face. I know it will be the best day of my life.
Love, Mom
Pregnancy update:
I have been sleeping a lot more lately, and constantly so tired. On the weekends I have been able to go to sleep around 8:30 or 9 and not wake up until 9:30 or 10. It must take a lot out of me to grow such a big tummy.
I have a few more stretch marks on my side. I am going to the store today to get stretch mark cream. I will be so sad if they don't go away after.
Food I have been loving:
Beef
Candy
Peanut butter
Ice cream
Fruit drizzled with chocolate
cereal
spaghetti Os
Milk
mac and cheese
Durangos
I force myself to eat other things, but most of the time I would be pretty content with a salad and treats the whole day. I have also been drinking a TON of water. Through out the day I constantly feel so dehydrated even though I have drank SO much water. My goal has always been 4 - 17 oz bottles with a glass of milk and some juice mixed in (and maybe a soda) lately I can easily drink 5 bottles and sometimes 6 in addition to my other liquids. I guess I just really need it.
I like to go walking and have noticed that I can walk about an 18- 19 minute mile (which is super slow, but faster than I thought I could walk). I try for 45 minutes to an hour a day and I shoot for 4-5 times a week. Last week I only got 4 times. I would eventually like to walk a half an hour 2 times a day 6 days a week. I am just way to lazy in the mornings to get up in enough time to do that. I am hoping that when its a little warmer in the mornings I will be uncomfortable enough I can talk myself into doing it. We'll see.
I have also made some progress on the nursery. I still need the bedding and a chair, but its coming right a long. I really like it and I have left enough wiggle room that we can add and change things as he gets older without too much hassle.
I have had an internal battle with clothing, and just recently that internal battle became an external one.... whats does that mean? I tried to wear something that quite obviously does not fit anymore, but because I am so stubborn and refused to waste my money on maternity clothes I was incredibly uncomfortable and had to go home at lunch and change because I was such a hot mess. I got home and looked in the mirror and realized my shirt was basically bursting at the buttons, my zipper wouldn't stay up on my pants because they were too tight, and I looked SO SLOPPY I was incredibly embarrassed because of how much of the day had passed with me looking like that. It was a humbling moment for sure. I realized I was ready to give in an buy some other maternity pieces- almost completely because I felt so bad showing up at work looking like such a crazy lady- my poor boss.
So last week I headed off to Target and Old Navy thinking that I would swing in and find a number of things that I could grow into and that I like (because I usually can find a hundred things in both of those stores that I love). Unfortunately, once I got there I was incredibly disappointed. To make a long story short I may or may not have had a minor break down in Target (tears and all) because I could not find anything that I liked and that would fit my constantly growing tummy. I think I was just so frustrated with my body, and feeling like its such a weird shape right now and that no one can even make clothes to fit it. I headed off to Old Navy with a little more hope, but was pretty disappointed there too. I did find one maternity dress. (I bought two others that were on a crazy sale that I can't really wear now but they were too cheap and cute to pass up). I was a half hour late for dinner at my mother-in-law's house because of my emotional break down. Sydney is such a sweet heart and didn't mind at all the I was so late, and even got out a few dresses and a skirt that I could barrow that would hopefully fit me. I felt even worse about being late, but honestly so grateful to have something else to wear. Then to my even bigger surprise a few days later Grandma Susan and Aunt Sheila brought me a bag of clothes they had bought for me that would hopefully fit my constantly growing belly. I was so embarrassed that I had made such a big deal out of not having anything to wear, but also so grateful that all of these sweet people would think about me. Then, a day or two later, my mom bought me a new maternity dress. I am seriously so overwhelmed by the love and generosity around me. I am so blessed to have such kind and thoughtful people. I feel horrible that I was such a baby, and I really need to remember that people besides my sisters take my whining as real and not just me being a baby for a little bit. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful caring people in my life!
Who would have thought that my biggest issue with being pregnant would be with the clothes (actually I should have seen that one coming). Hopefully I have a few more choices now to wear during my work week, at least enough to last me ten weeks. (I can't believe I have ten weeks left. That BLOWS my mind!!).
I have been reading a lot lately and actually really enjoying it. I have read a few books that I could barely put down. I have also started a few books that I wish I had never picked up. The most recent- Then The Rain Came Down by Brooke Shields. I thought I would gain a lot of insight into what women go through with postpartum depression, but I could barely get through the first 60 pages because she shared so much information about her problems conceiving, her dad dying, miscarriages, and then a HORRIBLE delivery. I just could not finish it. Wrong choice for this point in my life. It seems like ever since I have been pregnant people LOVE to share their horror stories with me. I feel like I am constantly hearing about someone's miscarriage, or someone almost dying during the delivery, or someone else with something horrible that happened during pregnancy. I honestly do not understand the need some people have to share the most awful things about pregnancy and delivery with pregnant women. To me, it would make more sense to be extra shielded from those kinds of things while you're pregnant. I understand that people need to share, but to be honest, its rarely the woman that went through the trauma that shares. The stories always start out "I knew a girl once that..." or "My sister's delivery was horrible because...." or "I heard about a lady that...." or even better "In a book I read once this lady....." I have rarely had someone say, "I almost died during the delivery, and since you are going to go through that, let me tell you all the horrible things that can go wrong...." Maybe all the women that actually go through it know that that's the last thing I want to hear about right now. People are funny I guess. But for my own personal benefit later on- "Kacee, if you have something horrible or traumatic happen during pregnancy or delivery or if you hear of something, DO NOT share it with someone who is pregnant. THEY DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT!" Now if I ever catch my self trying to do that to someone else, hopefully I will remember that and just stop and tell them how much I have LOVED being pregnant and what an amazing miracle it is.
On that happier note, I feel like I do need to write down and remember just how amazing this pregnancy journey has been so far. I love feeling him move around, and I love to watch my tummy grow. I love being apart of this journey. I love that I get to be the one to spend this 40 weeks with our baby. I love that my body just knows what to do, and I love that his body does too. I love that everything happening has such a divine purpose and that everything is preparation for something that coming. I feel incredibly honored to be a mom to such a sweet boy, and that my Heavenly Father is trusting me and Sam to care for and protect him. I honestly love touching and feeling my stomach and watching this little life grow inside of me. I really feel like pregnancy is one of the best things I have ever been apart of. I am truly honored to be pregnant and to get to experience this, it is life changing.
30 Weeks {February 11, 2013}
Dear Hayes:
We are one week closer to meeting you and I am absolutely thrilled. I can hardly wait to see you and your cute face. I been having dreams about you lately, but when I wake up I can never remember what you look like. Maybe that means I already know who you are and what you look like, but my conscious mind isn't able to remember that yet. Its fun to think that I may already know you, but that I just can't remember that.
You are such a fun wiggly baby. You especially love to move when I lay down to go to sleep. You also love to kick a lot when Gator is laying by me. Me and your dad joke that you either really love him and you are trying to play already, or that you two may get pretty jealous of each other. hahaha I am betting its that you want to play. Your kicks and wiggles are getting so much stronger and I think that means you have been working on your muscles in there. You are getting to be such a strong baby.
I have always felt like you are such a special baby. I feel like you are going to be such an amazing person. I can't wait to see all the things you do and places you go. I have a feeling you are going to do great things with your life, and I am so lucky to be able to have a front row seat.
I hope that you will always know how much me and your dad planned and prepared for you. We waited for a lot of years for you, but I already feel like you were worth the wait. I hope that you always want to spend time with me and that you know you can come to me with anything. I can't even begin to describe the love I already have for you. You made me a mom. You made life so much better, even the thought of you makes life so much better. I am anxiously waiting for the day that I get to hold you and see your sweet face. I know it will be the best day of my life.
Love, Mom
Pregnancy update:
I have been sleeping a lot more lately, and constantly so tired. On the weekends I have been able to go to sleep around 8:30 or 9 and not wake up until 9:30 or 10. It must take a lot out of me to grow such a big tummy.
I have a few more stretch marks on my side. I am going to the store today to get stretch mark cream. I will be so sad if they don't go away after.
Food I have been loving:
Beef
Candy
Peanut butter
Ice cream
Fruit drizzled with chocolate
cereal
spaghetti Os
Milk
mac and cheese
Durangos
I force myself to eat other things, but most of the time I would be pretty content with a salad and treats the whole day. I have also been drinking a TON of water. Through out the day I constantly feel so dehydrated even though I have drank SO much water. My goal has always been 4 - 17 oz bottles with a glass of milk and some juice mixed in (and maybe a soda) lately I can easily drink 5 bottles and sometimes 6 in addition to my other liquids. I guess I just really need it.
I like to go walking and have noticed that I can walk about an 18- 19 minute mile (which is super slow, but faster than I thought I could walk). I try for 45 minutes to an hour a day and I shoot for 4-5 times a week. Last week I only got 4 times. I would eventually like to walk a half an hour 2 times a day 6 days a week. I am just way to lazy in the mornings to get up in enough time to do that. I am hoping that when its a little warmer in the mornings I will be uncomfortable enough I can talk myself into doing it. We'll see.
I have also made some progress on the nursery. I still need the bedding and a chair, but its coming right a long. I really like it and I have left enough wiggle room that we can add and change things as he gets older without too much hassle.
30 Things- #23
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
I love Easter. I love the spring time and flowers and all the bright colors. I love the idea of new beginnings and re-birth. I think that Easter represents something so beautiful and hopeful. I love that time of year, and I especially love all the Easter candy. Easter is by far my favorite holiday.
30 Things- #22
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
5 years- I will be 30. I hope that I have the cutest sweetest little 5 year old boy, and maybe another one. I want to have at least 1 of my bachelors degrees completed, hopefully both of them. I would love it if there was a way that I could be started on my master program. I will probably still be working as a paralegal in some facet. I hope that I have run at least 1 or 2 more marathons. I also hope that we have taken some pretty fun family vacations.
10 years- I will be 35. I want to have a master degree. I will hopefully be done having kids and a really sweet 10 year old little boy. (maybe two more kids, but we'll see about that). I hope that our house is almost paid for by then. I hope that I am working in nutrition in some way, and wouldn't mind it if I was still doing some paralegal work on the side. I hope that I get to spend time with my kids and be home with them most of the time. I hope that everyone is happy and healthy.
15 years- I will be 40. Weird. I hope that I am happy, settled and feeling successful in nutrition, event planning, paralegal work, and whatever else I am interested in. I hope that my kids are happy and healthy (and weird to think this little guy will be learning to drive). I hope that me and Sam get to travel some more and that we get to take our family some fun places. I hope our house is pretty much paid off and that we are building or living in our new one. I hope that my family is all healthy and happy and that we get to spend a lot of time together. I also don't think I would mind going back to school around this time and learning something new or getting a new degree of some kind.
All in all I hope that my family is happy and healthy and that we are close and have great time together.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
With a heavy heart {February 7, 2013}
This morning I got some really devastating news that a friend in my ward had passed away. She had been having some medical issues, and some other personal issues in her life in the past few months/years and died this morning. She was 36. I am in complete disbelief. I feel completely devastated for her family, and especially her 4 children. Today was another reminder to me of just how fragile life is, and how when it is our time to go there is no stopping it. I am eternally grateful for my knowledge of forever families and that Heaven a beautiful place where pain and hurt does not exist. I am grateful to know that my friend is in the arms of her loving Heavenly Father right now, and that she can and will be watching over her family from above.
My first memory of Amy is my first Sunday at church after we moved into our ward. She came up and greeted me and said hello. She was incredibly friendly and so sweet to help me feel comfortable. That was the only week I went to Relief Society (because we got called to teach primary) and Amy made sure I sat by her. She was a runner too, and so we talked about running the marathon and how fun it was. She really made me feel so welcome and noticed. I have always been grateful for her for that. Recently, when I told the other primary leaders and teachers that I was pregnant, Amy came up and gave me such a big hug and told me how happy she was for me. She was incredibly sweet. I saw her a few more times after that and each time I saw her she gave me a big hug and was so sweet to me. I am grateful to have my last memories of her be so warm and tender.
In the midst of trying to wrap my head around this devastation I couldn't help but think about how important is to hug the ones we love, and to make sure people around us know that they are important and special. Amy was amazing and doing that, and I hope that I can really focus on growing that attribute in myself in her honor. I am truly grateful that I had the opportunity to know her and to enjoy her personality and spirit even if it was for just a short time. On a day like today I am incredibly grateful for my religion and for the insight, knowledge, hope, and comfort it brings. My heart breaks for those that endure these types of tragedies without such comforting insight.
Today I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for providing a way through the devastation and for being aware of each of his children, including me. I am sure he is very happy to have one of his sweet daughters with him today.
My first memory of Amy is my first Sunday at church after we moved into our ward. She came up and greeted me and said hello. She was incredibly friendly and so sweet to help me feel comfortable. That was the only week I went to Relief Society (because we got called to teach primary) and Amy made sure I sat by her. She was a runner too, and so we talked about running the marathon and how fun it was. She really made me feel so welcome and noticed. I have always been grateful for her for that. Recently, when I told the other primary leaders and teachers that I was pregnant, Amy came up and gave me such a big hug and told me how happy she was for me. She was incredibly sweet. I saw her a few more times after that and each time I saw her she gave me a big hug and was so sweet to me. I am grateful to have my last memories of her be so warm and tender.
In the midst of trying to wrap my head around this devastation I couldn't help but think about how important is to hug the ones we love, and to make sure people around us know that they are important and special. Amy was amazing and doing that, and I hope that I can really focus on growing that attribute in myself in her honor. I am truly grateful that I had the opportunity to know her and to enjoy her personality and spirit even if it was for just a short time. On a day like today I am incredibly grateful for my religion and for the insight, knowledge, hope, and comfort it brings. My heart breaks for those that endure these types of tragedies without such comforting insight.
Today I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for providing a way through the devastation and for being aware of each of his children, including me. I am sure he is very happy to have one of his sweet daughters with him today.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
30 Things- #21
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
I feel like I have such a good relationship with both of my parents. I love to meet up with my mom and go walking, shopping, running, spinning, cooking, and whatever else sounds fun. Our favorite thing to do is to go walk around Target and see what must-haves we can find. My mom is the reason that I started running and has become one of my best friends, I call her for absolutely everything.
I feel like my dad is such a funny guy and so insightful. I love to hear his advice on things and I feel like he is one of the smartest people I know. I love to spend time with both my parents and feel incredibly blessed to have them so close.
Monday, February 4, 2013
29 Weeks {February 4, 2013}
I can feel myself starting to get more and more nervous and excited for this little guy. I know I say thing every week, but it is blowing my mind how fast this pregnancy is going, and part of me really wishes I could slow it down. I love feeling him wiggle and move and I know I will miss that once he's out here wiggling in the world. I try not to think about the delivery process or all the things that can go wrong, it just stresses me out and its pointless to sit and worry about it. I can't change anything that happens. I am just hoping and praying for the best.
Sam's mom bought us a stroller and car seat and had it sent to the house. It is SO fun. We have loved messing with it and trying to figure everything out. Gator is absolutely terrified of the stroller. I did catch him walking around it and smelling it trying to figure out what it was- so me must be warming up to it. In true crazy dog person fashion, I talked to Gator about the stroller and that he shouldn't be scared of it because that means we are going for a walk when we get it out. I think he understands and is warming up to it. :)
We have officially chosen a NAME!!! I honestly NEVER thought we were going to get there, but we found a name that both Sam and I could agree on, and I ABSOLUTELY THRILLED!!!
P.S. I just ordered and got that blue "Hello" sweatshirt and I am so in love! Its comfy and easy to wear and goes perfectly with my black and blue tribal leggings. I swear if I could I would live in leggings and a sweatshirt. The picture in my red jacket is proof that I do work out sometimes, even if it is a constant struggle. The other two photos are proof that I do try to wear normal clothes, but that it just looks I am squeezing into clothes that just do not fit anymore, but hey, at least I am still trying. :)
Sam's mom bought us a stroller and car seat and had it sent to the house. It is SO fun. We have loved messing with it and trying to figure everything out. Gator is absolutely terrified of the stroller. I did catch him walking around it and smelling it trying to figure out what it was- so me must be warming up to it. In true crazy dog person fashion, I talked to Gator about the stroller and that he shouldn't be scared of it because that means we are going for a walk when we get it out. I think he understands and is warming up to it. :)
Hayes Ricky Weldin
We realize its a little different and a lot of people are not going to like it, in fact, I was talking to a woman I know on Saturday and she asked if we had a name. I told her, and her reaction was priceless, "Oh, hmmm." She quite obviously didn't like it, but I really think its funny when people don't like it. I'm sure everyone will come around to it once they meet this little guy. :) And we love it, and both of us agreed on it, so that's really all that matters.
Week 29- February 4, 2013
Dear Hayes:
That's right, I can start calling you by your name and not just baby any more. We decided to name you Hayes Ricky Weldin! Do you like that? I guess if you come out and it doesn't fit you then we'll have to change it, but for now that's what we're calling you. Me and your dad love it!
We are getting closer and closer to the time you will get here and we are getting so anxious to meet you. I feel a lot better knowing that we have all your essentials already. I am sure we will get more things for you, but all the must have's are taken care of.
Me and your dad love talking about all the things we will do with you once you get here. There is a boat race at the lake in June, and you have already been invited! You lucky little guy, you are already getting invited to the lake and you're not even born yet. I told your dad I will bring you out for a little bit if everything goes well, but that you can't stay the whole time. Sorry, I am already setting some rules for you. I bet you won't want to stay out there that long anyways.
Your aunts have started planning a shower for me and you. I am excited to celebrate you with all of our family and friends. I think there are a lot of people really excited you're coming. I know I am.
I love feeling you wiggle and move around. You are such a sweet baby. I can hardly wait to see your sweet face and to start getting to know you.
Love you lots!
Love, Mom
Pregnancy Update:
Not a lot of changes from last time. I did catch a cold with a really yucky sore throat. I am still pretty dead set on not taking any medication while I am pregnant, so I am relying on a lot of water and warm baths to help me through it. Luckily it is warming up and hopefully that means all the sickness are on the wind-down.
Here I am at 29 weeks:
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