Days with Hayes

Some days, my days off are so much fun and I could literally cry when they end. Other days, they are really hard and I find myself all kinds of stressed, overwhelmed, impatient, and constantly pushed to my limits. I don't like to remember the latter version of my days off, so when we have REALLY good days, I feel like I must document them. Focus so much on the fun days, that hopefully I can forget about the bad ones all together. 

Last week Hayes and I had a great day. We got up and went to the park and shopping and playing and running and the weather even cooperated with us and was warm, but tolerable. Hayes did so good listening and I felt like I stayed patient when he didn't. We both were on our A game. I love days like this. They make being a mom so much fun, they make me feel like a fun mom, they literally just lift you up. In the same respect, fantastic days like this make me wish I stayed home everyday. I know not every day is this good, but I still can't help my self of dreaming about a few years of fun days with my Hayesie without work days shoving themselves in the middle of our fun. 

I'm learning to find motivation in longing for more time home. It makes me spend less and save more. It makes me want to get myself in the a position where I can stay at home with him and that it's actually enjoyable and not so stressful. I'm slowly learning to harness my frustration with feeling so torn between my work life and my home life and using that to push myself to where I really want to be, and that's home. It's hard to wait for something like that, but hopefully that will mean when I actually get it, I enjoy every last second of it, and if not, hopefully I'll read this post and be reminded what it was like to want it and be reminded to never take it for granted. So many times I think there is such a disconnect between working moms and stay at home moms. I know in talking to both categories I have learned that even though both groups have so much in common, they often times only see the differences. I know a lot of times stay at home moms feel less than working moms. I can't help but laugh at that, because in my head I look at stay at home moms and see what I wish I had, there is no less than there, jealousy is probably a closer description. I hope that stay at home moms realize how amazing it is that they can do that, and how much it means to their children. There really is no greater job.