When its been good weather we have loved to take Hayes and Gator and go out to Sand Hollow Lake. It is SO beautiful out there, and with things warming up it really is so enjoyable to be out there. Hayes absolutely loves to watch Gator running and swimming and jumping in the water. He laughs and screams and gets so excited. Gator acts like he's died on gone to heaven, he is literally on cloud 9 out there. The lake does something for Sam's soul that I really just can't explain. Whenever he has been in a bad mood or really irritable, the lake is where we head. It's like it brings him back to life and back to a happy place. Seeing my family together and enjoying such a beautiful scenery does something good for my soul too. Life just feels right when we are out there, especially right now while there aren't very many people around and we can just walk on the beach and talk. It's peaceful and energizing all at the same time. Sam always says when we leave "That was the outdoors religion, and it felt good today huh!" I have to agree. Today when we went, I jogged across the dam and Sam picked me up on the other side. It felt good to be out running. I didn't make it all the way across without walking, but that will be a good goal when we go out there- my goal will be to run out and back without stopping.
Hayesie is quite the mover now and into everything. He loves to eat anything and everything he finds so I am vacuuming multiple times a day. I'm not sure how we get some many things on the ground, but that little guy finds every little piece of dust or dirt and it goes straight into his mouth. He is such a funny crawler. He can crawl normally, but its like he focuses too hard and his one leg pokes out sometimes. He looks so silly, we have lots of videos of him doing it. He is such a good little eater, but doesn't like to be fed too much- he wants to pick it up himself and feed himself. I have to be patient because he takes about 45 minutes to eat a meal. I am such a fast eater and then ready to move on, so this has been a challenge for me. What I try to do is start him eating before I start, then give him other things to eat while I clean up. This has worked pretty well I think. He still hates getting his diaper changed. He screams and straightens his body and tries to roll over and crawl away- unless we are at a diaper changing station or in the trunk of the car, then he stays still and its much easier. Weird, huh? I think when we do it on the ground or on a bed he thinks its play time and is mad I am trying to hold him down- when we are on a station or using the trunk, he knows he has to get it changed. I should have bought a changing table- maybe for the next one.
Gator is still such a sweetie pie. Poor thing is always having to protect his tail though. Hayes thinks is such a fun toy to pull on. Gator is patient and has really been good with him. I am excited for when they are friends and Hayes stops pulling his hair.
Sam is still just busy working. His boss is having surgery and will be out for about 6 weeks. Sam is the main man while he's gone and is feeling a little nervous about that. I know he will be just fine, I think its more than anticipation of it all. He is saving for his boat and getting more and more ready to have one already. He is too logical to just bite the bullet and get one, but he can't wait until its a smarter time to buy one. We are trying to figure out our vehicle situation when we get a boat. Everyone keeps telling us his truck will be ok pulling it, but we are a little unsure. We don't want to blow up the engine going up a hill or have a huge problem. We have put it up for sale a couple of times, but most people only want 4 wheel drive. We will most likely just have to trade it in. It's hard to get rid of it though because it has been such a good truck, and not having a car payment has been really nice, and I am sure it will be even nicer when we get a boat and have that additional expense. We have talked about getting an SUV or just a beater truck, but nothing has really felt right or been talked about too seriously. Cars are such a hard thing to know about. I think they are even more stressful that buying a house. I wish his truck could just pull the boat easily and we didn't have to worry about it, but on the other hand I do like the idea of having an SUV. It would be nice for traveling and it would make taking Gator with me so much easier. Getting Hayesie and Gator in and out of the truck by myself is not an easy task. Luckily we don't have to make any decisions right now and we can think about it for a little while longer. Being a grown up is not all its cracked up to be.
My work is still super busy and taking up a lot of my time and energy. With it being so busy, balancing life and work is much more of a challenge. I have been bringing more stuff home, and actually getting it done at home, so that really helps. I keep thinking this whole working mama thing will get easier, but truthfully its still pretty dang hard. I am constantly feeling guilty and torn. I am constantly feeling like I can't get anything 100%, and every job I do it just enough to get by. It's frustrating to have two really important things to split my time between. I have tried really hard to just be wherever I am, so if I am at work, I'm really focused on work, and if I'm at home, I try to be there enjoying all things home. That has helped, but being present is actually quite a difficult task. I hope that will lots more practice I can get really good at it.
I have been trying to plan and get some fun things ready for summer time. I really want Hayes and me to take swim lessons. Sam wants to be the one to teach Hayes to swim, but I think the class could be a lot of fun. Hopefully we can get Sam to cave in and see its more about fun than anything. I also think I want to find a music class for him. Hayes is so drawn to music and I think it would be a lot of fun to play with other kids around his age. I think my friends will start their park group again and some other girls that live by us were talking about getting kids together to play too. I am excited for this summer when Hayes will actually want to play and want to swim, and I will feel better about getting out there too. We have already gone down to Town Square and watched the fountain. Hayes LOVED the water and I think he will have a lot of fun there. I hope we can make this summer a lot of fun.
Overall we are doing really good and just trucking a long. We have our ups and downs and things are hard sometimes, but we make it through. We have a pretty great life together and I love this little family of mine. I am one lucky mama.
Love, Kacee
These are some pictures from my mom's house today. We went over for Sunday dinner and Hayes was being is normal silly self!
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