I was talking to my sister the other day and she was telling me about something my grandma had said. I have two cousins that are having babies before me, and one of them had her baby last week (and we could not be more excited for the new Barnes addition!). My grandma said "Natalie's baby is here, then we have Kylene, then it will be Kacee's turn" hahaha I always knew that's was order, but for some reason when she said it I felt like a kid waiting in line for a scary ride just watching the line in front of me getting shorter and shorter. I am thrilled to go on the ride, but my nerves just keep growing with each person that hops on and takes the ride. What a funny feeling to have.
Today I turned 26. That feels weird. When I was growing up I always said I wanted to wait to get married and have kids. Its funny being in my position now and thinking back to what I had imagined. I feel like I got married young (21) and I am so happy that I had almost 5 amazing years enjoying marriage. I am also incredibly thrilled to be at the stage in life that I'm at. I am so happy that things work out the way they are suppose to and that I am in the place in life that I am right now. I wouldn't want to be in any other place, and that is such a good feeling. I am happy that I am at a place where I feel like I can be a little less selfish and give my baby more of myself. I know if I would have had a baby earlier in life that may have been more difficult. I am happy that I get the opportunity to make sacrifices for this sweet baby. I know I would not have always been so happy to do that. I feel constantly reminded that my Heavenly Father knows me so much better than I know myself, and it is such a good feeling to be constantly reminded that he is aware of me. I feel eternally grateful that he is trusting me with this little one. The road to this little one has not been easy, and took so much planning and preparation. I am so grateful now, that I never wished that time away. What a blessing it is to be able to enjoy the moment I am in! I don't think I would ever share the whole journey Sam and I have taken to get to this little guy, it is too special to me to broadcast. I will say that I am grateful for the Lord's timing and his individual attention in our lives. I am one lucky girl. 25 has been good to me, and I feel like 26 will be even better.
I went to the doctor last week and everything was good. I can't describe how grateful I am for uneventful appointments. I love that he comes in and tells me that my baby is doing good, and growing how he should. I try not to take that for granted. I now gained about 21.5 pounds. I feel like it looks like a lot more than that. I am guessing my total weight gain will be somewhere around 35 pounds. (which is actually more like 50 than where I like to be, but I started out with 15 extra pounds that I should have gotten rid of before). So, my goal after will be to loose 50-60 pounds in a year. That seems like a lot, but I am hoping to deliver close 10 pounds of it- or more :) ( 7 for baby, 3 or more of the other stuff). When I really break it down, if I can deliver 10 of it, then I really only have to loose 4 pounds or so each month, totally healthy and totally do-able. That makes me feel like getting back into shape will be do-able and not quite so daunting.
{Week 31 - February 18, 2013)
Dear Hayes:
The doctor checked you and said you seem to be doing really good in there. He said you are laying on your side with your head down and bum up. You are so funny and kicked me when the doctor was measuring. You made both me and the doctor laugh when you did that. I love to go to my appointments and have them tell me how great you're doing. We are both so lucky.
I keep thinking about all the fun things we are going to do once you get here. I can hardly wait to show you off to all of our friends and family. I hope you are a such a sweet boy, just like your dad. I hope that you are spunky like me. I hope you are thoughtful like your Grandma Sydney. I hope you are funny like your Grandpa Ricky. I hope that you are intelligent and athletic like your Grandpa Rob. I hope that you are smart and driven like your Grandpa Mike. I hope that you are sweet and gentle like your Grandma Lynne. I hope that you are aware of people around you, and always act on your intuitions like your Great Grandma Cardon. I hope that you are outgoing and friendly like your Great Grandma Susan. I hope you are generous like your Great Grandma Phyllis. But most of all I hope that you are happy being Hayes Weldin and that you know just how special that is, and how incredibly amazing you are. I hope that you ALWAYS know what a huge blessing you are in our lives that you are the answer to so many prayers,dreams, and hopes. You are so wanted. You were planned. You were prepared for. You are one of the greatest blessing for so many people and on so many levels. I can't begin to describe just how important you are to me. You have truly become my whole world, and the craziest thing about that is that you aren't even here yet. I can only imagine how much better things will be once you're here.
I feel like the luckiest mom in the whole world knowing that you're mine!
Love, Mom
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