Life has seemed so crazy lately, I know I say this all the time, but seriously time is going by so fast. It seems like I the weeks just fly by. My work has been SO busy lately. We are literally just running the whole day. It feels particularly overwhelming because I am not there 2 and 1/2 days a week and I am trying to perform the job like a full time employee, but doing in half the time. I like having that time off and being home with Hayes, but it can get pretty overwhelming at the office. I have been taking a lot of things home, and going back into the office after Hayes goes to bed. That is really helping ease some of the stress. I like what I do, and I like that we are busy, but I wouldn't be mad if things calmed down a little bit. Working and being a mama is such a hard balance. I am so grateful that I have a really flexible job and one that I actually enjoy, but the balancing act is the same whether I enjoy my job or hate it the whole time. It's hard to know what to do, and if I am in fact finding a balance. I say this all the time, but no matter what I am choosing, something suffers. I just have to find a balance where Hayes does the least amount of suffering, and I am still able to do my job well. Its constantly changing and so difficult.
I've still been thinking a lot about law school. I really like the idea of it, but on the other hand, if I can make enough money doing what I am doing and maintain a schedule that fits my family, does it really make sense to incur the debt, move my family, and take that time? Its a hard decision, and one I am grateful I don't have to make now. I keep telling Sam I want to go to law school in Hawaii, and then he can be a stay-at-home dad. We both laugh and secretly calculate how much it really would cost us to do that. When I think about how much, law school seems a little less appealing than when we talk about what Sam and Hayes could be doing in Hawaii. Its fun to talk and dream though, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Today Sam is sick. That guys is so funny. He refuses to get a flu shot because he says it makes him get sick, and then he tells me he never gets sick. I think right now he is singing a different tune- I think that flu shot is looking pretty good right now. He is such a trooper though and muddles through work, and just crashes when he gets home. I don't know how he does it.
I am really excited for the long weekend (and because I get to have an EXTRA long weekend because of how my schedule is). I am also particularly excited because its my BIRTHDAY! I LOVE birthdays! I do not like getting older, but birthdays make getting older almost ok. I am really hoping to make it up to Zion (or at least Springdale) at some point this weekend. The weather is suppose to be gorgeous and I am dying to get outside and do some exploring. Hayes, Gator, and I have walked and ran this week and it had been SO nice, I bet Zion is unbelievable.
We had achievement days here tonight, we went heart-attacking. Achievement days is a lot more work than I thought it would be, but my girls are really sweet, and I love having them over here. I haf forgotten what it was like to be 10. When I am with them, I remember being that age, and its a lot of fun to feel silly and to feel like the biggest problem is that 3 boys what to be my Valentine (ok, I never actually had a problem like that, but you know what I mean). Its refreshing and exhausting at the same time. I am having to learn that not every activity has to be a party with decorations, food, and games. Sometimes we can just have an activity. That has been a good lesson for me to learn.
Love, Kacee
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